The Roaring 20's Are Days Away...

As this year comes to an end, I'm forced to look back on all of its glory. Just a few days shy of 2020, I recollect the nights I've endured with nostalgia and fortitude.

The people I've encountered... The places I've adventured... The reflective times I've sat through...

I push forward with the lessons I've learned about myself. Those lessons are discipline, expression, and living in the now.

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Discipline was lacking in my life. Even so, there should always be a balance. Being too impulsive is something that had to be addressed. It can be developed in so many aspects of life.. whether it's gaming, working, eating, or working out. In my case, it was physical health. I relied too much on what I felt rather than what was actually beneficial. I let my feelings override what I really needed. In a world that I wanted control over, I let my feelings run rampant over, instead. I thought trusting my intuition was enough to get through this wild ride we call life. Obviously, I was mistaken.. although I'm thankful to be in tune with my instincts, disciplining myself gave me so much more to see.

Expression is something I have struggled with for a very long time. Emotions can come and go without so much as a smirk on my face. People who know me can attest to this. It most likely stems from my childhood, as so many things revealed in adulthood do. I have now learned the importance of voicing emotions, out loud, instead of conserving that energy. Saying what I feel out loud instead of just thinking about it freed my mind of the thoughts surrounding those emotions. As I felt drained from the experience, there was so much room for more energy to take up. Anxiety definitely plays a significant part in a face void of visible expression, in my case, at least. It's not an easy feat by any means, but I can always refer to a time when I didn't know the importance of expressing my feelings- whether to someone or just giving them a voice.

Which brings me to living in the now... It's difficult to live in the now with a mind that seems to be racing 24/7. A mind that clenches my jaw without even noticing.. a mind that subconsciously tenses my muscles and makes me take shallow breaths. It's been 24 years this plague has had a hold on my mind. Taking the time to slow down and fill my lungs fully during the day has made a world of difference. When it feels like looming calamity is ready to strike at any moment, mindfulness has given me relief. Being consciously aware of where I am can be theraputic. I have to practice allowing my mind to relax in a world that is so chaotic.

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With my main spiel finished, I want to invite readers to my blog where I'll be sharing my thoughts freely.

Come along for the ride if you wish!