Consideration

It's almost the end of 2020.

I lay awake way past my bedtime as I ponder about the way I move through this life.

I am someone who is not easily angered.

Yet, I have been presented with scenarios in my life that have triggered angry feelings, recently.

I am cognisant of the fact that anger comes from being hurt and so I have explored beyond the tears and animosity that arises as soon as I feel angry.

I have come to the conclusion that I am too understanding, too considerate of other people's time, feelings, etc.

This doesn't mean that I am aiming to be careless or unkind, rather that I shouldn't have so much consideration for others over my own.

I can still be a caring person but I have to be more selective with my care and significantly less considerate, in general.

With that being said, I want to take the time to thank the people who have evoked anger in me because now I can see the why.

In hindsight, the people who I thought didn't deserve my consideration and care probably really needed it in that moment.

I know better now, for my own mental and emotional peace.

It is a large part of letting go as well, which was a goal I set out to fulfill in the beginning of this year, so this is another integral lesson for myself.

In addition to this monumental epiphany, I am feeling myself transform, for it seems like the last time, this year. With one month left of 2020 & my 25th birthday on the horizon, I willfully accept the expansion and ease that comes with the flow of my life.